I smile and wave
"Together they have built a world, a lot of it is real. And we are here to ease them through the parts they can't conceal."
Are you trying to conceal your world?
Truthful, hopeful and (yes) thankfulI admit that I have not been very positive through most of my pain and fatigue journey. I spent the first two years in denial and doctor chasing instead of accepting my doctor's diagnosis and getting proper treatment. I am pretty sure I did myself more harm than good. I was terrified of the pain and the impact it was having on my life. I wish I could say that my attitude is dramatically different now, but then I would be in denial.
One of the challenges with chronic illness is that it seems to be ever changing! My symptoms change daily and sometimes hourly. Just when I had victory of my fear of the pain, I was slammed with chronic fatigue and back in to the fear and denial loop. I am still learning how to be truthful about my struggles without slipping in to victim mode. It has been two years, but I'm finally getting to the place where the fatigue doesn't terrify me. I am learning to be hopeful.
I am also learning to be thankful. No, I haven't lost my mind (not yet anyway). Once I was able to admit that I was in victim mode, I started taking action. My faith has been my cornerstone and has allowed me to get to a place of thankfulness. These past five years have made me a better person and deepened my faith. Another serendipitous benefit has been that I am learning to -
find joy in the smallest things!
Playing with my cats, a moment of pain relief, the sun shining on the hillside, holding hands with my husband, even doing my nails - these things and more have become incredibly important to me! I know that I am finding joy in things I may not have even noticed before. But, it's a choice. Some days, I have to really try hard to find it, but I do my best to make sure I find something that brings me joy every single day, even if just for a few minutes. It is in those minutes where I forget about my pain and fatigue and simply enjoy the joy!
What Brings You Joy?
What things are happening in your world right now bring you joy? Will you will share them with us? Who knows, maybe your joy can bring joy to someone else.
Yours in health and joy,