Run for cover!
Then it hit me - hard. I was getting ready to watch TV one night and, from out of nowhere, I was overwhelmed by this sense that I was falling into a black hole and I couldn't stop myself. It was terrifying! Thank God a friend of mine reached out to me because she was so concerned over my behaviour. As soon as she heard my voice, she made me promise to call the crisis line and my doctor.
- Asked me if I was suicidal (good)
- Let me vent (good)
- Told me I needed to push myself to get out and do things (uh, not so good with ME-CFS)
- Told me about various programs available (good). When I explained that I lived in a remote area and could not realistically drive one hour just to go to a support group meeting, she actually questioned why we chose to live where we live! (seriously??)
- Assumed (bad sign right there) that because she dealt with chronic illness, which included chronic pain, she knew exactly what I was going through (NOT good)
- When I tried to explain what ME-CFS was and wasn't, she again insisted that she knew exactly what I was dealing with because she felt fatigued too sometimes (REALLY not good)
The end resultWhat got me out of that awful place, you ask? For the past week, I have done these three simple little things:
- Thank God for the gift of another day the moment I wake up
- Ask Him to help me be a blessing to others
- Listen to Christian music all day
Even when I don't have the energy to do my Bible study, it takes no effort to listen to music.
24 Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25 The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!" 26 He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. Matthew 8:24-26